Shall Owe Words

I apologise for my bluntness, but there was nothing more annoying, more blatantly chilling nor more disturbingly potent in the early hours of this morning and, in truth throughout the entirety of today, than that purest of evils, the weather. Poetry, on the hand, is always good for the soul, if you believe in that sort of thing. Anyway, my weather-specific opinion stems from a number of reasons, which I have decided to outline below in a semi-concise list.

1. The decisively negative effects of a rapid, unexpected drop in temperature upon ones ability to escape from bed. This is a particular favourite of mine, as it has had a time-tested and most certainly undeniable impact upon my life. My earliest memories involve hours – or possibly nagging-extended minutes, it’s hard to tell which – spent huddled under covers as Mother and/or Father made repeated trips to my bed in an attempt to extract me from the silky warmth of thick winter sheets. What I could never understand was the importance that they seemed to place in something called ’skewl’, and how I had to attend. I still haven’t managed to grasp the importance of this bizarre ritual.

2. The potential of said weather to change between the hours of ‘home exit point’, ‘lunch point’ and ‘home entry point’.
Another of my favourites. Would you believe that I came into contact with this loathe-some thing today? 6:25am – very, very cold. 12pm – OMFG, I do believe my skin is burning. 12:15pm – Bought cheap t-shirt to replace the jumper which had seemed so essential at 6am.

3. ‘Instant-Runny-Nose’ Phenomenon.
I believe this is something we must all be very, very aware of, as it can be extremely hazardous to health. I personally am often stricken by this terrible ailment, and verily I pity any poor bugger who sits next to me, in front of me or frankly within the general vicinity of my nostrils on any form of public transport.

I think that’s enough for now. About 4.9 minutes ago I was forced to remove myself from my chair to journey to my room to search for a pair of woolly feet-socks and a jumper, because I was cold. I blame this and my ineffable cynicism for this tortuous and long-winded post.